-
"I'm off like a pair of panties on
a prom night." - Courntey Wiesahan (i tried)
-
"I cannot kill someone without a proven
reason. The Just War Theory proves this. For example, I can't say I'm just going to kill Kevin Cowling's parents." - Mr. Jones
-
"In order to learn about algebraa
you have to look at the "concepts" that are located on the "sideboard" - Rick Wibbenmeyer
-
"Laptops are the worst form of communication.
I asked my teacher what the assignment was...he said he 'Emailed it to me...'" - Phil Hayek
-
"The sun never sets on the Chaminade
Web Portal" - Bob Murphy
-
"What does being German have anything
to do with starting wars? - Bob Murphy
-
"Phil, I don't care if you molest
Shea but please keep your pants on" - Bob Murphy
-
"Tom, you are starting to remind me
of Todd" - Ryan Schaivo
-
"Steveeeee Perry" - Trey Parker and
Matt Stone
-
"I'd beat the queer out of him!" -
Matt Pryor responding to a religion class question of 'What would you do if your son was gay?'
-
"If you don't cheat to win your only
cheating yourself" - Patrick McCadden
-
"Swimming: Sometimes you do it for
fun, other times you do it not to die" - Matthew Mallonee
-
"YOUR NEVER GONNA CATCH ME" - Pate
as he runs frantically down the hall
-
"There is no free will: no unique
thoughts, no unique actions; our conciousness is what controls us." - Anonymous
-
"Do it To it Lars" - Ben Stiller
-
"DO IT HANSEL" - Hansel's walkoff
assistant
-
"It's pointless when we worry about
the past and the future, because we cant control it. The weird thing is, we dont really worry about the present, even though
it's the only time that we can control" Mr. Boyle (heisted from Petey's XANGA)
-
"Shes a whore now" - John Lennon (submitted
by Pate Schmid)
-
"Hey ya tubby piece of shit" - Pate
Schmid
-
"When do I get to move my fucking
chair away from that ugly ass baby? - Bryce Gerber
-
"People fighting over religions is
basically people fighting over who has the
better imaginary friend" - A comedian...but I forgot what his name was...pretty funny standup
-
"Can...(blue steel pose)" - Will Fakes
-
"IM SO TIRED, no Can, not now" - Will
Fakes
-
"Mr. MORTILLO, O-M-to the G" - Will
Fakes
-
-
"One time at soccer, for no reason,
Senseman says 'We have this kid at our school...WHO CAN GROW A BEARD!', and the rest of practice we were talking about
how cool that was!" - Andre Barachi
-
"YOUR MAD AT YOUR DAD, I FORGIVE YOU!"
- Adam Sandler
-
"I've got a fever and the only cure
is more cowbell" - Ryan Convy
-
"Spiderman, sporting the Nike shoes"
- Tenacious D's "Spiderman"
-
"When you can bench 200, squat 300,
have had sex and have friends then you can talk to me" - Matt Pryor (wanker)
-
"Love is (tripping over rock) Fuck,
I crippled myself! - The ever-so-popular Dan Kearns
-
"Spank me, I'm horny" - Scott Jostes
-
-
"I'm like everyone else, I put my
pants on one leg at a time. Except when my pants are on, I make Gold Records" - Christopher Walken
-
"So I say...Rectum...damn near killed
him!" - Chris Farley (the real quote)
-
"So I say...Rectum...damn near herpes!"
- Bryan Waterman
-
-
"SMITE HIM!" - Me telling Chrismer
to smite someone
-
"God dammit, everytime I try
to make a good joke you fuck it up!" - Dan Kearns
-
"WHATS THE DEALIO!?" - Me and Bryce,
saying it simeoultaneously (at the same time for dumbasses) on homecoming night at Maggie's...word
- "Hey...you better not be looking at chisles with
dissles" - Tom's dad online
-
"HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWNNNNNNNN"
- Tom's dad playing the air drums
-
"God their so into the game that they
will get a heart attack" - Can
-
"WATCH OUT! DONT GET AN ANUERISM!"
- Michael Hemkins
-
"You playing that anuerism game?"
- Hempy
-
"Yeah, it's amazing" - Can
-
"OHHHHHHHHH!" - Hempy and Can at varsity
soccer game
-
"OH SNAP!" - Michael Hemkins
-
"Yuor a pciee of carp...you can still
read it...HA!" - Drew Etzkorn
-
"If this last game the guy calls a
fair catch and I don't tackle him, I relieve myself for last game" - Can (have to understand St. Dominic Football game)
-
"Your so unorganized Asa" - Can
-
"Kath's been in two accidents...in
only two weeks" - Can
-
"Kill CAW CAW (as can tackles helpless
returner) - Todd Dutro
-
"NO MORE BULLSHIT!" - Main phrase
used in Can's Speech
-
"Its not dickhead you moron, its dickass!"
- Todd explaining to his father what a DA is.
-
"Yarr!" - Chris the Ninja Pirate
-
"Shit happens, get used to it" - Can
-
"When some one signals fair catch
and everyone stops running except you...you know your an idiot - Cameron Dyer (thanks Dyer)
-
"That tackle consisted of two things.
Pure anger and not expecting a fair catch." - Can
-
"Can, didn't you see him wave his
hands?" - Everyone on football team
-
"Pssh, who calls a fair catch honestly?"
- Can
-
"Man...I got fired...got 2 babies...don't
know who the daddy is...and i don't even care. - Scott
-
"You need some of that unph in swimming"
- Laura
-
"No shit Sherlock" - Laura
-
"Candy is Dandy...but Liquor is quicker"
- Ryan
-
"Sizzle, I am not hizzle, please leave
a mizzle and i will gizzle to yizzle as soon as a cizzle. thizzle" - 1 of my away messages
-
"Choderboxisgod...hahahaha" - Tom
-
"Hey ryan, hows your nutsack after
i tear it from YOUR CROTCH" - The creator of the site
-
"Why'd
you have to do that in front of him? All you have to say is Earmuffs and then you can say whatever. See? Shit, Fuck." ~ Vince
Vaughn in Old School
-
"Cock, Balls" ~ Will Ferrel in Old School
-
"Geeh, if you're here then who's running
hell?" - Robby
-
"Whatever it is...you're still a fuckstick"
- Joe Clifton
-
"ALL
ABOARD...NIGHT TRAIN! - Freddie Tiffany and Tom
-
"How's
ya momma? We went out" - Freddie Tiffany and Tom
-
"I'm
gonna open up a can of whoop sass on your candy sass!" - Tom
-
"If
you keep talking like a bitch then I'm gonna slap you like a bitch - Ryan Convy (from Resovoir Dogs)
-
"Work
is the curse of the drinking class" - Ryan Convy
-
"Kill
Whitey - I'm not from the Streets but my driveway goes out to the streets" - Robby Kennedy's single from his 'band'
-
"I
HEARD CASSEROLE!" - Tom Green
-
"My
shoes would be perfect for the Eco-Challenge" - The Can
-
"The
B Team is a Team TOO you know! - The Can
-
"My Driver is called the "Air Bear".
That's awesome cause I'm like "The Bear" and it's like "Air Bear"...ya know? - The Can
-
"Never get so drunk that you shave off
your own nipple" - Sam
-
"Tim,
have have you seen my brief case?" Chris Ambrose, Ben Bishop, Kenny Jones, and pretty much the whole varsity hockey team
-
"Is
the Weed" - Ben Bishop
-
"My
existence is futile" - Dan Kearns
-
"If
you fall in a hole, the best way is to climb out. HAHAHAH - Shaina
-
"I
need a quote, but dont make it a gay one" - The Can
-
"On
the black...rock...is where I like to go..." - Tom on the crapper and from the O.A.R. song, Black Rock
-
"SATAN
IS THE DEVIL!" - The Can after seeing guestbook
-
"Ta
hell wit dat" - Burns
-
"MMMMMMMMMMM
MISS IT!" - Tom during golf
-
"Some
guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him 'Be fruitful, and multiply.' But not in those words." - Joe Madden
-
"Be
careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Joe Madden
-
"Until
I was thirteen, I thought my name was "shut up" - Bill Cosby and Joe Madden
-
"I
read so many bad things about sex that i had to give up reading" - Joe Madden
-
"Stinky
Fingers!" - Everybody except uni
-
"AHHH...I'm
BLINDED...(puts on sunglasses)...ooh...that's much better." - Gary Fakes in "Quits"
-
"Make
it work for ya" - Seemore Plescia
-
"DANG"
- Seemore Plescia
-
"Lifes
a garden. Dig it." - Joe Dirt
-
"Hey
Homie, why you frontin'? You need the moon man car lock. Keep it safe, but keep it real. Word up to your mom" - 2002 VMA for
Best Rap
-
"I
keep it real...I keep it simple...I keep it REAL simple" - The Can
-
"CIDE...SUICIDE...SUICIDE...SUICIDE..."
- Tom ~ a song he made up one day
-
"We
blew shit up" - Gary Fakes in "Big G.W."
-
"I
think it's some book by William Shatner..." - Tom in "The Hoevel"
-
"WILLIE'S
DEAD!" - The Can in "The Hoevel"
- "
I wanna be Satans brotha....I wanna be his best friend.... " - Joe Clifton ~ hilarious
-
"
We are one body...one body of.....SATAN! " - Joe Clifton ~ hilarious
-
"
SLIT MY THROAT AND SUCK MY BLOOD " - anonymous ~ tom sung this one day and i was like what the hell and it got stuck in my
head when I was at special olympics...yeah....
-
"if
your in the shower your getting clean but you can get dirty in the shower .... a never ending cycle - Scott Jostes ~ no comment
-
"ROLLER
SKATES" - The Can during Drama thing ~ 3 block drama thing
-
"Um...let's
fuck. - Brandon Sloan ~ good thinking
-
"Convey
named it "Quits", but I wanted to name it "Return of the Don Part 2 take one bonus features" - Scott Jostes ~ for their drama
movie
-
"This
has all been wonderful but now im on my way" - Phish (from asa) ~ i guess you'd have to be there
-
"
Wow this guy needs to decorate! Look at this mess !Pshh oh look his computer! - Gary Fakes ~ from the movie he stars in, "Quits".
-
"Kevin
PMSs about his shirts... - Scott Jostes ~ he went ape shit on scott
-
"u
may say im a dreamer but im not the only one, maybe someday ull join us and the world will live as one" - John Lennon (submitted
by Asa)
-
"ZANDO"
- The Can reading a Shel Silverstein poem - 3 block drama thing
-
"Hey
Nick? Your Mom. Ba dump bump! - Joe Clifton ~ Hilarious
-
"Hey, get your hair off of me, this is
a no-raping truce A-hole - The Can ~ one of those had to be there things
-
"Zanka...ya dead yat? - Tom ~ funny
-
"I dont want to sound like a queer or
nothin... - Camera man from Orgazmo - funny as a mo
-
"You like that, you got's to, SNOW!"
- Tom Distefano ~ funny
-
"The miner bird says...CAW...CAW CAW
- Tom Green and Tom Distefano ~ funny
-
"Dont worry, we got you good" - The Can and Tom Distefano ~ funny
-
"Where's William Shatner?" - The
Can and Asa Goldkamp ~ funny inside joke
-
"This is the worst movie EVER" - The Can and Asa Goldkamp ~ funny inside joke
-
"YEAHHHHH" - Tom Distefano ~ messed but
semi-funny
-
"There's only one problem Happy...you're
not any GOOD. - Tom and some person from Happy Gilmore (i forgot) ~ COOL
-
"CominaDAYha"
- Coach Hoyman ~ messed
-
"You're
going down to China Town" - The Can and Tom Distefano ~ awesome
-
"You
know what I say...Kill them. Vick them. F them. - Tom Distefano ~ funny
-
"I'm gonna murder you're family" - The Can and Tom ~ AWESOME
-
"Gonna Slaughter you're family, hang
them out to dry, rip their eyeballs out and feed them to my children - Chris Hubinger ~ WHOA CHRIS
-
"I'm the ambassidor, I'll kick your assidor" - Brandon Sloan ~ tisight
-
"Whenever I walk into a midget-active zone, I come out with 3 midgets grabbing my ass. - The
Can ~ funny
-
"Can, that's the midget's face coming up to your ass, not their hand. - Scott ~ funny
-
"Talk about bullshit..religion. its the biggest bullshit story out there. People are actually convinced there is an
invisible man up in the clouds... who refuses to reveal himself to his own people.. and he has these 10 rules.. on stone that
yoy must follow, and if you break any one of these 10 rules, you will goto a place underground, where there is fire, torture,
suffering, death, crying and ultimate pain........................ but he loves you?" - Joe Clifton ~ i feel his
pain
-
"The bear! why is chris on it so many times? chris needs to have like one that says "I AM LETHAL...AND WILL NEVER
GET LAID CAUSE I HAVE TOO MUCH COLONE!" - Tom ~ womkickdean (according to him)
-
"HOW STRONG
ARE WE!?!? TOO STRONG! - remember the titans ~ AWESOME
-
"WHAT KIND OF POWER DO WE GOT!?!?
SOUL POWER - remember the titans ~ AWESOME
-
"STRONG SIDE! LEFT SIDE! - remeber
the titans ~ AWESOME!
-
"Stop playing
Kings of the Gayness" - Tom ~ funny
-
"That's
enough Chris - The Can (ANDREW, GOD DAMMIT, DOES ANYBODY KNOW MY NAME!?!?!? ~ funny
-
"I would
NEVER do Crack...I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass - Denis Leary (submitted by Chris Hubinger)
~ funny
-
"SCUBA THE
CAN, DAMN YOU!" - Tom after losing in Hitz 03' ~ funny
-
"No I will
NOT ride a wet horse to Germany!" - Joe Clifton ~ right...
-
Falure in
Spanish means 'to fail'. What the Fuck!? - Chris Hubinger ~ funny
-
"REEEEEEEEEEEED
LOOOOWWWWWW!" - The Can (Andrew) ~ AWESOME INSIDE JOKE
-
"Maybe YOUR
GAY!" - Pryor to Mrs. Wright ~ hilarious
-
"Maybe
on Tuesday" - Burns ~ AWESOME INSIDE JOKE
-
"Birdcall,
Birdcall!" - Birdman and Tom ~ womkickass
-
"Birdman,
Birdman MUTHA F**KA - Baby and Tom ~ womkickdean
-
"Is
there any room in those jeans for me?" - Robby ~ nice pickup line
-
SUITCASE
SAM! - 3 block drama class ~ hilarious
-
"Why do you stand up for
Bader? He's so gay!' - Pryor to Mrs. Wright's face ~ hilarious
-
"Fuck
whoever wrote Drew is gay on Tom Hasting's
website" - Drew (dur) ~ funny
-
"Tom's website is gay.
HAHAHAHAHAHA" - Drew ~ funny
-
"Whatever,
I'll do what i want!" - Can ~ hilarious
-
"You know you want this...whateva!"
- Tom and Nick ~ hilarious
-
"Oh no you di-nt!" - Tom
and Rob ~ hilarious
-
"Shut
your holes" - Bader during his drama speech ~ HATE
-
"I don't think Winston
Churchill said shut your holes" - The Can during bader's speech ~ funny
-
"And 20% of my week is
being a BA" - Pryor ~ funny
-
"B A!"
- 3 Block Drama Class ~ funny
-
"Phhhhhhhhhhh,
the kid can't even read!" - Nick to Bader in Block 1 History class ~ funny
-
"I
want a beard!" - Mike Wachtman ~ funny
-
"If
you have a problem with Robby Kennedy, then you have a problem with yourself" - Robby Kennedy ~ explains itself
-
"Lick me, I'm your hoe hoe- Nick Gastorf ~ hillarious
-
"Would
you like a free rectal examination kit? All we need is your name, adress, city, state, and zip code and you can have a free
examination kit." - Dan Kearns~ funny
-
"so
i was like ridin my west side chopper (motorcycle) down the hoochie min trail, back in 68 during nam. There was like 2,000
screaming chinamen chasing me and there was like a giant water buffalo in the road so i totally bunny hopped it, and the coolest
part was that it exploded when i flew over it, then my home clanisters(kamakazis) came in with a friggin cruze missel strapped
to his back and blew them china men to hell" - Eric Loyet ~ wow
-
"'Those
'you are an idiot' things are really gay." - Can ~ true
-
"LAY OFF, IM STARVING!!!"
- Asa Goldkamp- funny
-
"Suddenly it occurs to
me what a strange trip it has been" - Asa Goldkamp ~ from Greatful Dead, I think...
-
"Fuck Crow" - Dan Kearns
~ funny
-
"I'm gonna beat you till
i get cancer!" - Scott Jostes ~ funny
-
"Girls
love liquid!" Tom Hastings ~ hate
- "They also
love unibrows" Tom Hastings ~ HATE
- "Please
moan for me" Robby Kennedy ~ awesome (for robby's sake)
- "Thornburg
is running, thornburg is running!" Jack Wilson ~ good
- "Dick head,
whats your problem!" Tom and And ~ awesome
- "HEY RICH!!!!"
3 Block art class
- "Ya'll
are bein a bunch of jackasses" A-Bomb ~ hate
- " Get in
the car and don't touch nothin, sit in the car" Cam'ron ~ good
- "We ate
her, ALIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEE!" JD McNuggent ~ AWESOME
- "AAAANNNNNNGGGGRRRYYYYY"
Tom and Chris Farley ~ awesome
- "what's
the capital of thailand?" a madden ~ good
- "Close
your legs panda!!!" Tom ~ awesome
- "Shake
this!" The Can aka And ~ good
- "HEY BURNS!!!!"
The lunch table ~ awesome
- "I'm freaking out man!" And
and stoned guy from Super Troopers ~ good
- CominYEAHha - Chris Milano ~
awesome
- I'm thinking more like...YEAH
- Chris Milano ~ good
- Fist yourself - Tom ~ awesome
- Tim why did u kiss Patrick??
HOMO! - Tom ~ ZU AWESOME!
- DEAN!! - everyone in the 8th
grade besides dean ~ alive!
- "Shut the hell up cinder block"
- Scott Jostes ~ good
- "Fakes, put your ass away,
it's ugly" - Scott Jostes ~ right...
- "It takes an hour for my
brain to respond to pain" - Jimmy Reid ~ retarded
- It smells like hawaii, no...it
smells like asa, no....it smells like DEAN! - Wilson's board ~ gayyyey
- "Look, I have all of Nolan's
friends in my hands....Oh no! I let them all go! There's nothing! - Tom ~ hilarious
- "Bridget is SO HOT" - 3rd Block
Art Class except for Jimmy Roboto,Wes, and Bader ~ AWESOME
- "I'm gonna murder Bader!" -
Tom (after having his computer crash) ~ funny
- "I will be the first one with
a beard in our grade, trust me" - And ~ yes, its true
- Paleta and Cowling have a site?
What's it for, to praise phish? - The Can ~ funny
- "What the fuck! Getting on a
ski lift is a basic function! What retards! - Guy on ski lift at hidden valley ~ pretty funny
- "Dude, I think we need to cut
back on the shibbying!" - Jesse ~ hilarious
- "ELEPHANT....sorry, must have
been the mail man! - Jesse ~ also hilarious
- "UNICORN!....sorry, must have
been a regular horse. - Chester ~ but really hilarious
- "This isn't hockey, this is Fucking
Ping Pong!" - The Can's hockey coach - ANNNGRRRYYYY
